You don't want to ever be number 8.
Master Jacques comes out at a tourney to do a demo. Blindfolded, holding
"nunchuks" aka two pieces of wood on a string, you can imagine him
standing in a circle of his students (selected for courage and/or devotion, but
intelligence ... questionable). Eight students, forming an octagon - as Master
Jacques prepares himself for the task of deftly but powerfully whacking the
apples from their mouths (yes, they're standing their with apples in their
teeth).
This would be an impressive feat – striking the apples but leaving the
students unscathed – even with open eyes. But with a blind fold? The crowd was
riveted.
Master Jacques completed his intense meditation, and swinging his nunchucks
in a flash of motion, popped Number 1 squarely on the jaw. Dropped him like he
was hit by lightening. Then ... he hit Number 2, Number 3, Number 4, Number 5,
Number 6 and Number 7 ... they flopped to the ground like a grenade went off.
Something - perhaps the hollow sound of a skull bouncing from the floor - keyed
Master Jacques in to the fact that all was not going as planned. Maybe it
wasn't the heads hitting the floor, perhaps it was his refined situational
awareness or ninja like intuition. Whatever the reason, Master Jacques raised
his blindfold to peek at number 8, as if to clarify the correct range and
bearing for the final impressive blindfolded strike. Perhaps that is what gave
Number 8 the confidence to do what I don't think I could have ... hope I
wouldn’t have …. to stand there so that Master Jacques could knock his stupid
ass out too. Which Master Jaques did.
So please, my CF brethren and sisteren, should you be in position to do so,
remind me NOT to be a figurative Number 8 and will do my best to perform a
similar service for you.
This story brought to you courtesy of my beloved instructor, mentor and
friend, the man who introduced me to my bride of the last 9+ years, Mr. Alan S.
Gardner, of Bath,Maine. He died the night I started my trip
home from Iraq
in 2006 for R&R. I was in the group phone booth in Kuwait, on the way home after 8
months, crying like a baby. It still feels like I lost him yesterday, probably
for all of us who knew him. 800 people converged on Bath,Maine
for his funeral, but I was back in the desert by then (that was within two
weeks of my discovery of CrossFit. He would have said "the old saying goes
that when the student is ready, the teacher will be there"). He could tell
this and the other two episodes of Master Jacques’ tournament appearance and
keep a crowd of 50 crippled from laughter. The legacy he left was a very small
version of CrossFit; people who loved to sweat and learn together, people who
worked hard to excel, people who found a teacher with no end of knowledge,
people of passion and at least some courage who formed a community around a man
we loved.
Forgive the indulgence – but having started the tale of Master Jaques, I
found the rest of the story too compelling to leave out and I offer it as an
altogether inadequate thank you and tribute to my friend. Paul
Master Jacques part II. After an few more events at the tournament,
the announcer returned to announce, with a somewhat ambiguous tone,
that Master Jaques was to return for a second demonstration. The crowd
quieted - how even a Master follow up such a knock out first
performance? His students brought out a box, a sledge, and some glass
bottles, and a another carried boards - clearly, there was to be a
board breaking demo. The purpose of the glass was revealed when the
audience watched and heard the students breaking the glass bottles,
then they poured the contents into a circle drawn on the stadium floor.
Cool! Man stands on glass and punches through wood - that's a gutsy
demo, especially for small town Maine. Perhaps Master Jacques has game
after all?! Master Jacques takes his position in the center of the
glass, his students line up, four of them, one on each side of the
Master.
After a dramatic, deep breathing warm up, Master Jacques signalled
his request to the students to present his four targets, which they
did. However, the student facing him presented the board at angle that
could only mean the Master's intention was to execute a spinning
technique. Every karateka in the room immediately winced - spinning
kicks on glass? Are you kidding me?
Master Jacques began his demo with a ferocious kiaa/yell, which
finished in a sort of a wailing wimper as he quarter spun on one foot
and froze in place. He hobbled out of the ring and left bloody foot
prints across the floor as he beat a hasty-as-possible retreat. At this
point, a few in the audience clapped as Master Jacques devoted acolytes
cleaned up the glass ... and blood.
The tournament spun back up, and the buzz began about Master
Jacques' memorable performances. Later in the tournament when the
announcer returned and trumpeted the news that Master Jacques would be
presenting another impressive demonstration, the crowd went wild!
